8 posts tagged “omaha”
from some random journaling while at work today- i give partial credit to the amazing organic soy au lait:
i've got this dream inside this coffe cup and i remember those early days with a head of red and a pen that punctured poems into paper. dreams- 100 thousand of them, and look where i am with a brick in one hand and mortar in the other- trying to repair this house and fix the antenna for better reception.
i can romanticize away those older days of hair with red flames, but i was buried and i could barely breath. i laughed through my teeth, through my death and yes, there was never enough. she haunts me still, that old girl who drained the blood from the pretty boys' necks and stirred in the cream just to be polite. but we've all gone forty, and some still speak thirty- but the longing stays the same even on the coat rack, in the closet, tucked neatly in the bottom drawer.
it was the time of bagels with cream cheese and even before Caffeine Dreams- 13th St. was my domain. and i'd tell Summer how i'd take my coffee and how much i'd pay. those Dirt Cheap days with Terrence and thoughts of Renee.
it was those early Artist Way days with Tori tearing her heart out for big pay and chalk pastels of my inner selves lined up on the walls of Eric's spare room. cheap rent and fridays out at art gallery openings. dreaming of a bigger day, a bigger day, but hopeless against the impluse to shrink down to an affordable size for strangers to sip from on the sides as i walked down the streets in rage.
so here we are, post xmas and pre-new year.
went to my family's for a few hours on xmas day, then hung out w/ my friend Brandon in Omaha on the 26th. i found that even for one day, i was not comfortable in Omaha. just for that one day, i felt like i was wearing this big heavy, dirty coat that i used to have to wear all the time. which is not to say that i am not grateful for all that Omaha taught me and for the experiences i had there. and i love the friends i made while i was there, even though i am only in touch with a small handful of them (that is just the natural consequence of moving away and starting your life somewhere else). but i just couldn't get comfortable or relax. and i think part of that was also my fears of graduating in May following me around. i've been so eager to rejoin the world of adults, but at the same time, there is so much cushion when you are in college. and there is no guarantee as to what comes next. i do trust my path and i do trust things will work out, but that doesn't exclude the possibility of turbulence along the way to landing. so i guess this winter break will be a good time for me to get clear on some decision making and some action taking.
here is a pic of Brandon when we were having coffee/tea and scones at Caffeine Dreams:
and here are a couple of pics of my family:
it was good to see everyone. the eldest niece, Crystal is pregnant- which is exciting, of course. so it was good to share the hugs while i could. (i'm going to be a grand-uncle!) but i have to admit it was also get back home to my little apartment and my warm, cozy Iowa City.
so, i've not been doing daily updates as I said. i've been kind of depressed lately, but is that any excuse? and it is for me, that commitment of showing up and saying just a few words. so, may i take that time, that extra 10 minutes to just check in daily. it ain't so hard.
so i'm in this film class and i'm quite pleased with all that i shall be learning. and the process of how to create a shot, all the work that goes into "effortless." and i've been using a camera from school to take lil' pictures for the purpose of our first assignment, which is just about still images and composition. so my dear friend, Moni Blue, allowed me to upload images from the camera onto her computer and put them on a disc for me. to make a long story short, i also had images on the memory card from a trip to Omaha (with Moni and her family) that I could not upload onto my computer- again for reasons that are dull and boring and i'll spare you. Anyway, here are some of those images! yea
for "Finally!"
These are from our friend Shelley Smith's Orange Pant show at the Hot Shops.
well, i'm back and it is good to be back. i had a good time in the big O, but i am always glad to leave it again after a couple of days. even though i did love seeing all the beautiful peeps- and encountering Gem Goddess, Leslie Hall.
i'm at Caffeine Dreams, trying to get some energy from some black tea. we'll see what happens. it is only 2:20 and i already feel like taking a nap. maybe i'll do that a little later.
so Leslie Hall put on an amazing show. Better than I had imagined. It was spiritual. Sadly it wasn't very long- I think about 40 minutes. maybe a tiny bit longer. but she blew the crowd away. if you've not seen/heard her, i strongly recommend checking her out on youtube. or at her website: http://www.leslieandthelys.com anyway, i bought her lastest cd, "Door Man's Daughter." kick ass!
so i will be meeting up some friends tonite- some artists that I knew from the Hot Shops here in Omaha, and of course, Medusa Project. should be nice to catch up. i will definitely need a nap. maybe i'll time to visit another artist friend at Adventures in Art before tonite. we'll see.
last night, i had a dream about floods caused from global warming last night. right up until the end, people would not give up their cars, their conveniences even though they knew that it was directly contributing to the impending doom. the addiction to convenience was stronger than their ability or desire to see reality. pretty scary.
Kman out
so going to see this Goddess of the Intergalatic Love Gems...tonite!
well, alrighty.
i'm in Omaha and plan on getting ready for bed soon. Brandon is out playing pool w/ friends- I had to leave early cuz the smoke was bothering my eyes- plus I'm a non-drinker and bars are kind of boring when your not tipping a few back. but it was still good to hang out for a while.
tomorrow we are going to go shopping for biz casual clothes for Brandon- which will be fun. i will get to whip around my "queer eye" skills. i love doing that. and i might even buy a couple of things for myself- it could just get that crazy.
it is quite nice to be in Omaha- although sometimes it is just a little too familiar. but soon Bran will be living on the east coast and I can go out there to visit him. i've never been east. only west and south- and just a bit north. but never east. new places will bring new thoughts.
anywho, here's to sweet dreams for sweet boys- and girls.
Kman
so at the moment, it is 6:20pm. i worked at the parking ramp today and it was super duper slow. which was great. i worked on some minor rewrites on the first half of a musical that i've been writing forever. but the first half feels very solid now. i'll have a good friend who is a great writer look at it and get some additional feedback.
tomorrow i am leaving to visit my friends in Omaha. specifically to see Brandon, but i think this is going to be a bit of an "old home week" for me with friends i haven't seen for awhile. it will be good to get reconnected to people and share our little life stories.
tonite i will work out, wash some clothes, force myself to do some cleaning, and get ready for the trip tomorrow.
iowa city feels very empty at the moment. graduation is over and many of the kids are gone. i would say a vast majority. and initially this feels sad, cuz i feel like i should be going off somewhere for the summer as well- for an internship or a lengthy vacation. and it is in this way that my life feels a bit constrained. but in reality, i am following my flow and things are moving just as they should. but oh how the grass can look so green sometimes on the other side of the flexible fence that contains my life.
Kman
