1 post tagged “yesterday”

from some random journaling while at work today- i give partial credit to the amazing organic soy au lait:

i've got this dream inside this coffe cup and i remember those early days with a head of red and a pen that punctured poems into paper. dreams- 100 thousand of them, and look where i am with a brick in one hand and mortar in the other- trying to repair this house and fix the antenna for better reception.

i can romanticize away those older days of hair with red flames, but i was buried and i could barely breath. i laughed through my teeth, through my death and yes, there was never enough. she haunts me still, that old girl who drained the blood from the pretty boys' necks and stirred in the cream just to be polite. but we've all gone forty, and some still speak thirty- but the longing stays the same even on the coat rack, in the closet, tucked neatly in the bottom drawer.

it was the time of bagels with cream cheese and even before Caffeine Dreams- 13th St. was my domain. and i'd tell Summer how i'd take my coffee and how much i'd pay. those Dirt Cheap days with Terrence and thoughts of Renee.

it was those early Artist Way days with Tori tearing her heart out for big pay and chalk pastels of my inner selves lined up on the walls of Eric's spare room. cheap rent and fridays out at art gallery openings. dreaming of a bigger day, a bigger day, but hopeless against the impluse to shrink down to an affordable size for strangers to sip from on the sides as i walked down the streets in rage.